The people who need people are, like the song says, “the luckiest people in the world”. They are the luckiest people because help is available, they just need to ask for the help. And that’s the rub. The people who need people the most are the least likely to seek assistance. One of the major revelations from my teaching experience was the discovery that the students who most needed help were the most reluctant to seek help. I made myself available via office hours right after class as well as email and the good students took advantage of both visits and email. In fact I still stay in touch with some students and proud of what they are accomplishing in their business life. However, the poor students stayed away and rarely sought help.

The revelation made an impact on me and I was sensitive to it when I returned to the ad industry and found the exact same situation. I was more sensitive to the matter given my university experiences. I found the people who I spent the most time with discussing the business and addressing difficult problems were the most accomplished people in the agencies. In my terms they used me as a consultant. They made the final decisions. My role was to aid them in covering the alternatives and searching for similar situations that might shed new light on the matter at hand.

This week I’ve communicated with two executives who are frustrated because their boss refuses to seek their counsel or input. In both cases the executives felt they had worthwhile information supported by extensive experiences to support their suggestions. In both cases they believed their boss was making a poor decision or taking unwise action. Both felt they had to remain quiet because their input was not solicited nor would it be accepted if put forth. Thus, the business suffers.

People who need people exist both above and below on the organization chart. Dealing with these people is an opportunity to develop your skill as a manager and as a consultant. With subordinates you want your wisdom to be perceived as help, not an order or a directive. If you can get the person to ask you a question it increases the chance your answer will be both accepted and assimilated. Answer only the question they ask. If you initiate a positive relationship it has the ability to continue and you want a long term solution as opposed to a short term fix.

Consulting with your boss is a different matter. You want to achieve the same result namely to be seen as a useful resource who can help him or her perform better. However you don’t want your comments to be viewed as criticism or worse “how you would do it”. The key is to communicate your thoughts in a manner so he or she sees them as both support to them and a benefit for the company.

“Wise men learn more from fools than fools learn from the wise” is a quote I used in my book “Theory You”. Keep this quote in mind as you move forward in your career. Discipline yourself to be a person who knows he needs people and be willing to avail yourself of what people can bring to assist you and the company perform to a higher degree. The people who report to you will respond positively. At the end of the work day good people want to believe they made a contribution and part of that is giving them the opportunity to be heard.

Finally, always try to approach people who need people from a positive point of view. Remember the word “no” closes doors while the word “yes” opens doors. The key to getting help to people who need people is first getting the door open.